Jokes ved Roger Senti

Roger Senti Jokes

customer : my wife needs a bra but , i dnt know the size.

sales girl : touch my breast and try to calculate.

customer : oh ! i forgot she needs panties too....

The Worst Day Of My Life

A little guy is sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying.
The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."
"No, it's not that", says the little man. "Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss was outraged and fired me. When I left the building to go to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said they could do nothing so I got a cab to return home. After I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my whole wallet in the cab. I got home only to find my wife was in bed with the gardener. I left home and came to this bar...
And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

GIVING ORDERS….
A trucker is driving down the highway when he hears a loud thump under his semi. He stops to check the damage, then calls his boss.
“I hit a pig on the road, and he’s stuck under my truck,” he explains. “What should I do?”“Shoot it in the head,” answers the boss. “Then pull it out and throw it in the truck.”The driver does it, then calls his boss back. “I did what you told me,” he explains.“So what’s the problem?” snaps the boss.The driver replies, “I don’t know what to do with his motorcycle.”

Fart Football
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, "Seven Points."His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"The old man replied, "It's fart football."A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says "Touchdown, tie score."After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha.. I'm ahead 14 to 7."Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure is on the old man.He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.The wife says, "What the hell was that?"The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."

The Wife Who Wanted Implants
A woman was wanting to get breast implants. She asked her husband, "Do you think we can afford $5000 to get me some bigger boobs?" The husband replied, "Honey, I have a perfect solution to this problem and it won't cost us a dime. Just take some toilet paper and rub it between your breasts over and over and your boobs will get bigger." "How on Earth will that work?," the wife asked. "I don't know how it works, but it sure did work on your ass after all these years and look how big it has become!"

Who Should Get Custody?
A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification. After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied... "Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?"

Family issues
One autumn day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. "My wife," the man replied. "I'm sorry," said Bill. "What happened to her?" "My dog bit her and she died."Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse. The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well." Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, "Can I borrow your dog?"To which the man replied, "Get in line."

Central Chinese Province

Doctors in the Central Chinese province of Hunan are investigating a 32 year old man. Who has eaten 1320 lb of glass in the past 17years with no apparent ill effects. Ma Shuntcan started eating glasses and beer bottles, when he was 15. Since then he has devoured 1700 glasses and 600 bottles. He married four years ago and for a while kept his habit a secret from his wife. Her suspicions are said to have first been aroused when the window panes in the bedroom vanished overnight and yet no other evidence of burglary could be discovered.

Democracy in south Africa

The onset of democracy in south Africa is sharpening up the country?s Jokes. Just before the 1994 elections two blacks were digging a ditch alongside one another. Ask the first: ? Why are we digging , Why should we be doing such menial work??. The other smiles and says: ? Don?t worry after elections, Mandela will be in Power , there ?ll be a new constitution, and them the bosses will be here digging?. Last week , after the new constitution was passed, the two found themselves digging a different ditch together....... Says one ?I thought you told me that after the election a new constitution will be made and the bosses would be doing the digging??. Says the other: ? My friend, we are the bosses?.

Commercial Bank Robbery

Most people around the world would not be too pleased to be burgled, and certainly not if it involved the loss of a considerable sum of money. How ever, this was not how a Czech Commercial bank saw it last week, when an armed robber relieved one of its branches of £50,000. Infact the bosses of the bank saw it as a good Sign. ?It shows that the thief was confident that money is there? or was there..............

Adam and Eve

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Russian are arguing about the nationality of Adam and Eve, ?English of course,? Says the Englishman. ? Where else would a man be Polite enough to give his apple to a Lady??. The Frenchman insists, they were French, on the basis that no where else would a woman give herself to a man for a price of an apple. No, says the Russian, they must have been compatriots of his: ? Two people, no clothes, no money, nothing to eat, but an apple and they are told they are in Paradise.

A Man and a Giraffe

A man goes into a bar with a giraffe. He asks for a Whisky for himself and a pint of bitter for his friend. The barman reluctantly serves the drinks. The man downs his whisky in one. The giraffe is impressed, does the same, and falls over dead. The man starts to leave but the barman calls him back. ? You can?t leave that lying there? What are you talking about. ? That?s not a lion, it?s a giraffe?

Hey! This is very important for the Couples to know!! On the other hand it is something special for thepretending, married busy Ladies.Enjoy it....

THE MAID STORY!

The Maid wanted an increase in salary as a result of Gvt notification to the house-lords in Bongo.....The Madam was very upset about this and asked: 'Now Maria, why do you want an increase?'

Maria: Well Madam, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron clothes better than you.

Madam: 'Who said you iron better than me?'

Maria: 'The Master said so.'Madam: 'Oh.'Maria: 'The second reason is that I am a bettercook than you.

'Madam: 'Nonsense, who said you were a bettercook than me?'Maria: 'The Master did.'Madam: 'Oh.'

Maria : 'My third reason is that I am a better lover in BED than you.'Madam (very upset now): 'Did the Master say so aswell?

'Maria: 'No Madam, the gardener did.'

She got the salary increased !! ?..new shoes ! !....new gown and asked not to expose the deal to the Master ! ! What would happen to the Gardener ??? !!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy your salary tomorrow ?????